Archive Page 4

Back on the snow horse

It has been thirteen months, plus a few days, since my accident with my Gilson snowblower. On December 15, 2007, I fired up the beast and wheeled it across the street to clear my neighbor’s driveway of the prior day’s heavy accumulation of snow. As I was about to finish the job (and to make a long story short) I stuck my hand into a place on the snowblower that I should not have, and was promptly relieved of about one-third of the middle finger on my right hand; the index finger was badly mangled also. Until today, the snow-blowin’-finger-eatin’ thing has been sitting in a back corner of my garage, scorned like a puppy that has chewed up the family Holy Bible.

I’m not sure how much snow we received last night, but it is claimed to have been the sixth heaviest snowfall recorded in the history of the weather record keeping system here. All through the night, the snow fell , the wind sighed, and I slept fitfully as Mr. Gilson called to me like some evil creature in a Stephen King novel from its place of banishment.
“Noslig, noslig,” it murmered.

This morning, after a hearty breakfast, and four cups of coffee to bolster my courage, I dressed warmly and marched outside to confront my old nemesis with the same determination that I felt the first time I climbed into a roller coaster cart. My hands were trembling slightly, but they kind of shake regardless, so that was no true indicator to me as to whether or not I was experiencing any anxiety about what might be happening in the next few minutes. Before I went outside, I thought I should let Claudia know – just in case she wanted to keep the phone handy – and was admonished in return.
“I hope you’re not going to try to use that snowblower,” she warned.

I gave her my tough-guy look and simultaneously thought to myself, Maybe she’s right. Maybe I could just wait until the next big snow and then get Mr. Gilson out. Besides, another year in the garage might just render the thing useless.

I grabbed my snow shovel, took one scoop of the foot deep snow, and quickly realized that it would take a very long time to clear my driveway – and possibly suffer a heart attack in the process.

“Noslig… noslig…” the beast whispers.

A few minutes later I am standing behind Mr. Gilson grasping the handles like an Amish farmer hanging on to his plow behind a pair of Belgian draft horses. On the second pull of the starter rope, Mr. Gilson sputters then roars. The deep throbbing sound of the six horse motor quickly allays my trembling hands, and soon the snow does fly. There is not much sweeter than two old friends turned enemies who have reconciled.

Oh how the time does pass so quickly when we do those things that provide so much  pleasure! Three hours later my driveway and sidewalks are clear – along with the same of several of my neighbors. I did refrain from clearing the street; saved it for the local street department plows.

 

A salute from Stubby

A salute from Stubby

My Gilson snowblower is back in the garage now in a place of prominence, near the front door – ready for the next round of snow should it come, and I still have 9 2/3 fingers – counting my thumbs of course.

Syntax at the Wal-Mart

Several months ago, Claudia and I took Rachel on a shopping trip to Wal-Mart. There was a purpose; to find a certain toy that had captured Rachel’s fancy. Unfortunately the toy was not in stock, but we did find an acceptable alternative. As we were standing at the checkout while the attendant, Mary (or someone wearing Mary’s name tag), scanned our items, Rachel turned to Mary and said in her sweet little three-and-one-half-year-old voice, “Hi.”

“Hi sweetie,” replied Mary. “Are you doing some shopping today?”

Still leaning somewhat awkwardly, almost upside down, over the back of the shopping cart child seat Rachel answered, “Yes, my grandpa bought me a new toy!”

It was a cute, short conversation that was soon forgotten by Mary I’m sure, and it had faded from my memory as well – until recently when it suddenly resurfaced as I was reading a book authored by cognitive scientist Steven Pinker, The Stuff of Thought: Language as a Window into Human Nature. The Wal-Mart conversation was mindfully resurrected in a flash while reading that …Babies are born into the world not knowing a word of the language being spoken around them. Yet in just three years, without the benefit of lessons, most of them will be talking a blue streak, with a vocabulary of thousands of words, a command of the grammar of the spoken vernacular, and a proficiency with the sound pattern. Children deploy the code of syntax unswervingly… A few pages over, Mr. Pinker tells me that Language itself is not a single system but a contraption with many components. To understand how children learn a language, it’s helpful to focus on one of these components… the component that organizes words into sentences and determines what they mean… syntax.

Oh, the things we take for granted. I doubt that Mary, the Wal-Mart girl knew about this. I certainly had never given it any thought.

Over the past four years we have accumulated quite a few children’s books, from infants to now, beginning readers. One of the favorites has been Clap Your Hands, a little Sesame Street book that has a built-in Elmo (who is also three-and-a-half) finger puppet. The reader can stick his fingers in Elmo’s little arms and make them clap while singing “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!” Recently as I was slightly preoccupied with something in my office, three year old Alyvia loudly announced while descending the stairway behind me, “Yook pa-pa! I have the crapping book!”

“The crapping book?”

“Yes,” continued Alyvia as she wiggled Elmo’s little arms, “Elmo is crapping!”

Great syntax… needs a little work on the letter ‘L’.

Even little one-and-a-half-year-old Alizabeth has entered the syntax game, “Hi pa-paw… how are you?”

“I’m fine Ali, but my knees are a little weak just now, thank you.”

Thanks now to Steven Pinker, my throat constricts, my eyes water, and my nose starts running whenever I hear these bits of toddler genius. No, the word, genius, is not being lightly used. Mr. Pinker told me in another of his books, The Language Instinct: How the Mind Creates Language that The three-year-old, then, is a grammatical genius – master of most constructions, obeying rules far more often than flouting them, respecting language universals, erring in sensible, adult-like ways, and avoiding many kinds of errors altogether.

They listen, they analyze, and they put the words together – right before our ears.

As I was paying for our new Wal-Mart merchandise, Rachel turned to Mary once more and said, “I love my grandpa!”

I’m not a genius, I’m not quite sure even what a cognitive scientist is, but I do know perfect syntax when I hear it.

The tweens

About and hour after I have changed my mother’s catheter bag, I am placing my granddaughter on our Dora the Explorer toilet seat insert for the big potty. While Rachel and I wait for the Tinkle Fairy to visit, it suddenly occurs to me that at this point in my life I am dealing with both ends of the spectrum in my service to members of my family – between the very old and the very young. I am a tween.

A tween…? I don’t know where that word came from. It just popped in. It sounds kind of nice. It’s also exciting to think that perhaps I have come up with a neologism that would succinctly describe a boomer who is between the greatest generation and the yet to be tagged generation of my grandchildren. But my joy is short lived because, when having come back to my senses, I realize that I have heard the word tween before.

A tween is most commonly used nowadays to refer to children who are in the preadolescence stage of their lives; somewhere between the ages of 8 and 12. I passed that stage a little over 47 years ago.
A tween could be a hobbit between the ages of 20 and 32. I passed that stage about 27 years ago; but my ears didn’t start getting shaggy until around age 50.
A tween could be used to describe merely ordinary geniuses  – according to science fiction author Mark Clifton, Star Bright – hardy, har, har, har!…
A tweener falls somewhere between Generation X and Boomers. I’m a boomer; so I can’t be a tweener.

Hmmm… As soon as the Tinkle Fairy has come and gone, I think I’ll strap on my iPod, grab my cell, and text message a few friends and get their opinions on this.

lol

Tunes stuck in my head

It’s happened to us all. A tune pops into our head, sometimes for no apparent reason, and can remain there for a few moments or even a few days. We may enjoy it at first, but if it remains too long it can become maddening. A couple of tunes popped into my head a few days ago, they are still there, I know the reason, and I’m still enjoying them.

The first tune – This Little Light of Mine;  the reason –  Layla.

Layla is our fourth granddaughter, another little light in our lives that started to shine July 3, 2008. Amber and Brian are the ones who are responsible for turning on this little light and they have been pretty radiant themselves since flipping the switch. Layla is a little light, but not too light – she weighs nearly seven pounds.

As we were sitting in the waiting area at the hospital prior to her arrival, that song just popped into my head – This little light of mine – it’s still there – I’m gonna let it shine – it’s okay if it stays a while longer – this little light of mine – I listened to it on our Raffi CD in the car – I’m gonna let it shine – and it might even get stuck in your head too – This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine , let it shine, let it shine

Oh yeah, the other song? Layla.

Layla, you’ve got me on my knees.
Layla, I’m begging darling please…

My kind of ride

This past weekend Claudia and I accompanied Rachel and her Mom & Dad on a trip to Holiday World; a not so quaint amusement park located in southern Indiana. One of the first things we discovered was that the three and one-half year old primary reason for going had grown about four inches in the past year. Last year, Rachel was about three inches shy of passing the “you must be this tall to ride” benchmark for stepping over the threshhold into the world of some adult rides – with an adult. This year the top of her pretty little head was a whole inch above the mark.

After a warm up ride on the merry-go-round, Rachel was ready for the big time stuff. So, she, her mom, and Grammy headed for the Spider ride. This thing looked like a giant Starfish with little spinning buckets mounted atop the end of each tentacle – and spin it did. Rachel gasped for breath, Mom squealed, and Grammy turned cadaverous. When the ride was over, Rachel said “Let’s do it again!” as Grammy made a bee-line for the Ladie’s room while trying to hold down her Hostess Crumb Cakes from breakfast. Fortunately, Grammy did manage to keep everything down; but she was also done as far as the rides were concerned – and she used to be quite the amusement park rider too.

Rachel rode just about everything allowable on the adult rides that day, and she always came off saying the same thing: “Let’s do it again!” She had a great time. She even enjoyed riding the shuttle bus that carried us to and from our place of lodging.

The next morning, as we were just kind of relaxing at the old camp site, Rachel asked me to take a walk – with her on my shoulders – another one of her favorite rides.
“I want to ride the bus!” she says from somewhere above my head.
“Okay, we can ride that to the park.”
“I want to ride the merry-go-round!”
“I’m sure you will get to ride the merry-go-round.”
“I want to ride the roller coaster!”
“Your mother was right. I think we have created some sort of little monster.”

“Tell me Rachel, what is your favorite ride?”

“I want to ride in Pop-paw’s car!”

“Now… that’s my kind of ride Boo-boo,” I replied while trying to catch my breath.

Big Sister

I was an only child for a while – six years and nineteen days to be exact, which is more than enough time to become really self-centered –  and it was pretty nice while it lasted. When I did get word that my only-child days would soon be over, I started praying for a little brother and dreaming about having someone I could play ball with and do guy things with.  I got a little sister instead.  I was a little shocked and disappointed at the time, but I got over it.  I eventually got over some of my self-centeredness and learned to love my little sister – still do – always will.  Six years later I got a little brother, which just goes to show that God does answer prayer.

Sometimes it was kind of lonely being the oldest sibling. I had friends who had older siblings and it sounded kind of neat.  Hearing some of the stories about their experiences with their older brothers or sisters – especially the ones about giving big sisters a hard time – sounded like loads of fun.  I was a pro at making life miserable for my little sister, so I just knew that I would have been really good at irritating a big sister.

This big-little sister stuff came back to me in a flash when I received this photograph of little Ali:

I wonder if this is how I might have looked when I got the word that I would no longer be the only one to have toys under the tree on Christmas, that I would waste many hours of my life waiting to get into the bathroom, that I would no longer be the only child.

Nah… I probably looked more like this:

I don’t know if I did a very good job of being a big brother, but I am sure that Ali is going to be a sweetheart of a Big Sister.

This is how I know:

Congratulations Big Sister! – and Mom & Dad too!

Bird poop on the window

What are little girls made of?…

The past few times that Rachel has come to visit, we have gone through the same routine upon her arrival.

“Lets go upstairs pop-paw, and listen to some music.”

We have converted Rachel’s mom’s old bedroom to a make-shift playroom; complete with a small bed for overnight stays, a rocking chair, lots of toys and books, a CD player, and an assortment of Baby Einstein and Raffi music. Rachel’s favorite lately has been Baby Einstein’s Wake up and Goodnight.

“I want to hear Wake up and Goodnight!” she says while grabbing the “jewel case” that contains the currently beloved music that has managed to surpass Baby Bach in popularity – at least in the house. (For some reason she prefers Baby Bach when riding in the car.) She is three years old, cannot yet read, but somehow has come up with a method for correctly identifying the jewel cases and their contents.

I load the CD, Rachel presses the “play” button, then she turns to me with hands in the air and says, “Pick me up pop-paw.” I pick her up as she commands “Let’s dance pop-paw!” and the music begins to play. It is always a magical time.

sugar and spice…

The music starts with a “Tune-up and fanfare” that is Baby Einstein’s brief interpretation of Franz Schubert’s Symphony No. 8. We waltz, spin, then glide down the hallway to Claudia’s sewing room. She calls out, “We’re dancing Grammy!”, as we dance our way back to the playroom. Our hearts belong to her.

and all things nice…

Just as the first track begins to segue into the next, she suddenly lifts her head from its resting place on my shoulder and says, “I want to see the bird poop on the window!”

“Bird poop on the window?”

“Yes, on that window over there. It has bird poop on it. I want to see it.”

It is always a magical time.

That’s what little girls are made of.

What the wind meant

Last night Mother Nature came a callin’ in my area code, and she wasn’t very motherly. She stomped through my neighborhood like a fourteen year old girl who had been denied something she wanted, but did not need. Sirens wailed, the stormtrakkers on the tube dazzled us with their latest meteorolgical visual aids while chattering continuously – taking little time to breathe; and then the satelite dish went out.

The rain came in torrents. The gutters on my roof quickly filled to capactity and flowed over the edges. The wind howled and seemed to screech at me, “Here’s something for you!”, then lit up my house with blinding flashes of lightning followed immediately with thunderous echoless booms that rattled the windows still filled with the lightning that had preceded it. Flash… sizzle… boom! “And here’s another one!” Flash-sizzle-boom!

This morning when I looked out into my back yard, it did indeed look as if someone had had a hissy fit out there. Big limbs, little limbs, twigs scatterd over the entire lawn. Some still dangled in the tree, but my sixty year old dutch elm had remained steadfast, appeared to stand proud and only slightly battered amidst its own clutter. As I surveyed this scene I thought to myself, I know what the wind meant. I also knew what I would be doing for the remainder of the day.

Later in the morning, as I sawed, snipped and stuffed tree debris into Sam’s Club yard waste bags, my two and-a-half year old Alyvia came for a visit. It wasn’t long before she joined me in the back yard. Strapped on her shoulders was a small back pack bearing a picture of – Backpack (Dora and Diego fans will know what I’m talking about). The see-through bag was trimmed in purple and matched her purplish-pink clogs. She sat herself down on the hard sidewalk, opened Backpack and withdrew a blank pad and an assortment of crayons. She crossed her legs at the ankles and settled into drawing and coloring. I settled back into sawing, snipping, and stuffing.

Moments later: “Here’s something for you pa-pa!” A drawing; squiggled lines, crooked triangles, red circles.
Flash… sizzle… boom!

We both returned to our work.

Moments later: “Here’s another one for you pa-pa!” Another drawing; squiggled lines, a crooked square, a green circle.
Flash-sizzle-boom…

 Now… I knew what the wind meant.

Prime Numbers

I am the eldest of three siblings. My sister was born six years after me, my brother came along six years after her. “Six years apart.” How many times we have heard that phrase. “Six years apart.” Only our parents know for sure if it was planned that way, or if it was merely a coincidence.

I suppose that being “six years apart” has had some advantages. I really can’t remember much in the way of intrinsic sibling rivalry,  although my sister and I did have have a few scraps. Most of those were my fault I think. None of us had to cope with hand-me-downs. We have remained close regardless of the separation that “six years apart” might imply. Although we are “six years apart”, ordinally we are the same as all other siblings; 1, 2, 3…

Today is my sister’s 53rd birthday. My birthday was a few weeks ago. I am 59. Our brother will be 47 a few months from now. We all have changed. We are still “six years apart”; still 1, 2, 3; but this year there is an additional factor that has drawn us close together. Prime numbers.

Not only are our ages prime numbers this year. They are next to each other in the list of prime numbers: 47, 53, 59; still 1, 2, 3. Ordinally ordinal. We should celebrate this. It won’t happen again until the year 2112 when we will be 151, 157, 163. Hmmm… 2112:  2 +1 +1 +2 = 6.

I think it was a coincidence.

I’m not gonna give up

I thought that when I reached the age of three
things might become a little easier for me
they didn’t, but I’m still happy little me
and I’m not gonna give up
no – I’m not gonna give up

Sometimes I just can’t seem to get things right
I spilled my juice, my shirt’s soaked, I’m a sight
my sippy cup lid wasn’t screwed on tight
but I’m not gonna give up
no – I’m not gonna give up

Yesterday I ran into a door
I fell and bumped my head against the floor
and now my noggin’s feeling kind of sore
but I’m not gonna give up
no – I’m not gonna give up

Every time I feel the urge to pee
my pants get wet and everyone can see
oh this is so uncomfortable for me
but I’m not gonna give up
no – I’m not gonna give up

And when I lay me down to sleep at night
I curl up in my blankie warm and tight
and think about the things I did get right
’cause I just didn’t give up
yep – I will never ever give up