Other than the rush of air through the building’s ventilation system and the street construction noise outside that we had grown accustomed to hearing; jackhammers breaking concrete, the back-up tooting signal of revved up concrete mixers navigating in reverse to deliver their loads, the throbbing diesel engines of dump trucks laboring to pull out of deep excavations – the office was pretty quiet. The ladies working in the cubicles adjoining mine were either working contentedly on their tasks at hand, surfing the web, or taking a nap. No chatter. I was working on a project of my own, not cognizant of the prevailing pseudo silence until…
I was configuring a new laptop computer for one of our field personnel. There are a lot of these laptops to prepare, all set up identically, and it becomes kind of boring after a while doing the same repetitive thing. So, while one of the installation processes was running on my current setup, I decided to bring up Facebook and see if there was anything new happening amongst my small circle of FB family and friends.
At my workplace, access to all social networking and video type web sites is prohibited. Any attempt to access such sites yields a stern warning that access has been denied. The warning is intimidating. The implication is that subsequent attempts might just land one out on the street. But I have other ways of reaching these forbidden fruits. The laptop I was working on had access to a non-policed wireless fidelity (Wi-Fi) network – no problem.
Having successfully signed on to Facebook, the first item that caught my eye was Jennifer’s posting about a pesky mouse that was obviously having a good time romping around in the attic space above her bedroom ceiling. Sticky paper came immediately to mind. That was the thing that seemed to have worked best for me. Before posting a reply comment recommending the sticky paper, I decided to confirm that it was still available. I switched over to good old Google and did a search on mouse sticky paper.
One of the first items on this list to catch my eye was a link to a video about mouse sticky paper. Probably a product demo, I thought to myself as I clicked on the link. Up popped the video with a frozen image of a mouse stuck on sticky paper. I clicked play.
The volume had been set to max. The laptop’s speakers began to hiss loudly, then broadcast the crackle of the sticky paper as the mouse struggled to pull his little feet loose. My neighbors began to stir.
Holy Crap! Where’s the damned mute button?
“Hey! Look at this!” beckons a loud voice from the computer.
The silence had been shattered.
“Huh?” from one of the cubes next to mine.
Where’s that damned mute button? Things were happening too fast for my 62 year old brain and fingers.
A second voice from the computer, deep and slow: “That little mutha fukka’s stuuuuuck.”
“Whaaat?” crescendoed someone near me.
There’s the mute button! Too late! God help me!
“Uh… another… uh… another truck… anotha truck is stuuuuck out there,” was the best response I could come up with.
“Ohhhh,” decrescendos the voice from nearby.
“An equipment malfunction,” I added for good measure.
The silence returned. Over the white noise, I could hear my own blood rushing.
I’m still waiting for someone to come and tell me to pack up my personal belongings, go home, and retire.
I hope Jennifer catches that little (what the laptop said above) mouse.
Grampy Lash 